Sestina

I feel you at my fingertips

My tongue dances behind my lips

I savor the warmth of your unwanted presence

I dare not close my eyes

For to watch you’re tainted

Memory is self-sufficiently cruel

Even so I close my eyes and allow myself to be cruel

A lay my head back as I do, pushing your psyche off my fingertips

Your remembrance used to bring gratification, now your memory is tainted

Death lingers on my lips

I disengage my eyes

I began to feel scared, it was unwanted, yet bringing me joy, it was your presence

I lie in utter confusion, the question running through my mind is haunting, should I welcome your presence

This is torture, this is so cruel

I face the truth, hold strong, and shut my eyes

I receive your spirit on my fingertips

I say your name on my lips

My body tightens, this is emotionally uncomfortable, because your commemoration is tainted

I’m paralyzed to my chair, feels like I’m there, I see the memorial service, I force myself to watch, but it is tainted

At the interment, I didn’t feel your presence

In those moments in time your name was lost on my lips

I wish I never let myself be so cruel

I let you slide right through my fingertips

Tears are now caressing my eyes

My body shakes as the tears free fall from my shattered blue eyes

I hate to see the perfect green grass that your body was lowered into, it is so tainted

When you where laid underground I was too, I pushed your memory away, now I feel you at my fingertips

I feel it there like a needle in a vein, your presence

The heavens stole your soul they were so cruel

I satanically curse the fates on my lips

I whisper forgiveness on my lips

You’re smiling at me now, laughing at a joke I made, I observe under the lids of my eyes

This isn’t so cruel

This nostalgia isn’t as tainted

My heart skips a beat when I remember how yours used to beat, I loved being in your presence

Letting you go I no longer feel you at my fingertips

I no longer feel cruel; I say your name one last time on my lips

I no longer feel you at me fingertips, I no longer see you with my eyes

Your remembrance will always be tainted but I will forever grieve for your lost presenceAngel Montage

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