Have you ever felt disappointment so strong it literally felt like your bones were breaking? Sometimes I want more then anything to be perfect and to make perfect decisions, I want to know that I will always be that person who never fails. I used to starve to look beautiful, I graduated high school in three years, I had scholarships and great grades, I volunteered, I mentored, and I have always worked myself dry. I strived for a perfection that I would never achieve.
However, I know that this isn’t a reality and it could never be a reality. That is an age old truth. But why then, if I know this in my heart, can’t I just accept it?
I feel like I am always looking for a change or the next step in my life because I can’t get exactly what I want out of life right now. Believe me, I realize how this sounds but think about it. How often do we feel sad, annoyed, jealous, or angry when things don’t feel perfect.
It is a hard pill for me to swallow that I am an imperfect me. This doesn’t mean I am a failure it just means that I am human. I want to feel accomplished but that doesn’t mean I have to be anyone else but me.