You know those Saturday’s when your in high school and you sleep in late and wait way to long to shower? You hang out in your PJs and eat your Cheerios in front the television.
Those were always my favorite days because they are so few and far between. Most Saturday’s you want to hang out and be active and not sit around in your own filth hearing yourself get fatter on junk food. But, sometimes those days are awesome.
Well I’m an adult now who works retail and having a Saturday off is a rarity. More then that having nothing to do on your day off is even more of a rarity.
Today, I was able to do just that. Sleep in way too late, watching morning TV in my nightie while eating my marshmallow maties (mixed with Cheerios of course because I can never have just one cereal.) I ended up doing dishes and made homemade Mexican style hamburgers with an Asian style salad. Believe me I know that’s a weird combo but really who cares? What’s good is good.
It was good to relax and catch up on my thoughts. I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I’ve been having these nightmares about death, car accidents, affairs, and mostly about children. I keep reliving this nightmare that I die amounting to nothing and that everything I touch dies. Including babies.
I’ve said this before, that I am ready for change but lately I’ve been wondering if there is something that needs to change internally first. Maybe I’m having all these dreams because I need to process the secret I’ve been keeping. I need to grieve and I need to talk. But is it worth it?