Growing up I thought that once I was married I would have more confidence in myself. That I would finally believe that I was beautiful. However, that isn’t that case. David makes me feel beautiful but I’m not suddenly beautiful because of him.
We has humans tend to seek validation from people. We need to be appreciated and praised, it is a part of life, but when it’s all we need then something isn’t right. Some personalities need recognition more then others but in general most of us decide how successful we are based off of our accolades.
I know that I decide what my worth is based on how others feel about me. Hence me thinking that once I was married and not trying to steal a guy’s attention I would be permanently beautiful somehow.
Yesterday at church that pastor was talking about how we are always pursueing our own happiness by the successes we achieve. Life will be perfect once I get that promotion, sleep with that guy/girl, buy that car or house… But satisfaction is never achieved and it is always just out of reach. We find ourselves content and we call that happiness. But what joy is there in life if all we get is contentment?
I think that I have been chasing after my happiness for so long that I forgot how to be in present life. I’m always thinking about the future or pining after the past. I waste time placing my value in how others see me and not taking the time to see me as me. And love me for me.
What if we all took a step back and took a long hard look in the mirror and asked ourselves, “I’m I truly happy? Or I’m I just chasing after something?”
And the bigger question, “Do I value myself enough to find true joy?”